You read the title right. It’s true. We make each other uncomfortable.
And I wouldn’t want it any other way.
You see, just this week he told me about some ideas and potential opportunities he has and I almost choked on my dinner. You want to do WHAT?! They’re unconventional ideas. Risky, to say the least. Anything but normal.
And just the other night, I talked and talked and cried about what I feel God is whispering deep in me, where I feel maybe He’s leading me, leading us. After pouring all my scrambled thoughts out while he sat quietly, I asked him, “So…what are you thinking?” “It scares me” was his response.
We make each other uncomfortable in all the best ways, and I absolutely love it.
Ryan and I have been married seven years today. Weaving my life into his and his into mine that snowy day was the best thing ever. Have we had complications? Oh, absolutely. Anyone who says they have never had any type of complication in their marriage, I’m convinced, are either 1.) lying or 2.) someone in the marriage is extremely passive.
So, yeah. We’ve had our issues, which have provided opportunities to work through our immaturity and insecurities. We’ve done some hard work and have really grown up the past seven years, thankfully. I’m proud of us.
But one thing I hope we never grow out of is the ability to irk one another. I hope we never grow out of getting under each other’s skin. I hope we never grow out of the ability to make each other so uncomfortable in all the wonderful ways only someone who knows you the best can. I hope we never grow out of being able to call each other out when we’re being a jerk or a little too edgy. I hope we never, ever let each other live a life for Jesus that is only based on good behaviour or looking good rather than on radical obedience and grace. I hope we never let each other’s prayers succumb to petty requests to have a “good day” and that our food would be blessed. I pray we would egg each other on to pray dangerous prayers that lead to an adventurous life with God. The kind of life we were made to have. I hope that we never believe the lie that “God will never give you more than you can handle.” It’s just not true. I hope we spur each other on to trust that when we are in over our heads…just maybe He’ll be our strength when we are weak. I want to keep praying for our children that God would not only protect them but that he would protect them from a life of entitlement and playing it safe.
The only way I can be this happily uncomfortable in my marriage is because of one thing. The most important thing in our marriage: trust. Where there’s trust, there’s safety. He is my safe place and I am his. I want to keep being a safe place for one another. A place where we can come home to when we venture out and try things and it’s a total flop. A safe place where we know we can reflect, cry, process and laugh about what went wrong without an “I told you so”.
He is the safest place I’ve ever felt so uncomfortable. Just like our children, when they take their first step or pull themselves up for the first time, our presence is the safest place for them to try something that’s uncomfortable. They can trust us to be there to catch them. And we know each time they step out, as uncomfortable it is, it leads to growth. We are that to one another and I couldn’t be more thankful.
Here’s to many more years of making each other uncomfortable.