December 11, 2016.
Not much happened that day the way I would have preferred other than you.
At 3:42pm, you came into our world and beautifully wrecked havoc on my ability to keep it together.
When your Dad told me “It’s a boy,” that’s where it started. Tears. I had none of that “mother’s intuition” they talk about. If I had to guess, I would have said girl simply because more people around us were guessing so. Although I would have been happy regardless, when I heard those words, I was undone. I think I hoped you’d be a boy deep down inside…
And then the name choosing had to happen. I remember saying nervously: “So….Everest Judah?” and your Dad agreed. Is it just me or is naming a child feel like a huge deal!? I think it’s cool when people say God gave them the name of their child. That way of naming children sounds easy. It didn’t happen that way for us. I’m pretty sure God just wanted us to choose whatever name we liked best. So we chose a girl name and a boy name and we waited to see which one would be used.
Everest Judah Brink was the final choice.
The OB said: “Appropriate name! Did you know he was going to be this big?!” only to find out you were over 10lbs. (No wonder everything just…hurt.)
We also found out the next day that the day you were born – December 11 – is International Mountain Day. We thought that was super cool.
Now, two years later, you still have a way of wrecking havoc on my ability to keep it together. But I’m starting to think that is part of your role in my life. Yes, rambunctious two year old, you play such a vital role in my life. I don’t think our relationship is one-sided, even at your young age. You impact people with who you are and you, son, impact me.
In the past two years, you’ve helped soften me in ways that were deeply needed, you’ve overwhelmed me to the point of tears, you’ve helped me see things I need to work on in myself, you’ve humbled me with your toddler antics…
And in the middle of it all, you push me and your dad to stay the course. We don’t do it solely for you but you are certainly on the forefront of our minds with decisions we make in this season of life. We promise to keep pursuing Jesus and keep on serving and forgiving and being forgiven and asking for wisdom in raising you. I’m currently learning to allow myself to just be human and allow others to be the same and my prayer is that in my struggle and journey, my ceiling will be your floor and you’ll go much farther than me. Although we have failed and will fail again as parents in one way or another, we’ll keep on giving and learning and growing in order to be people you can trust and run to when you fail as well.
Right now, you’re running to us because you fell backward from scaling the pantry for the sprinkles I already took away after you ate all the “boo” ones, or you’re screaming “DUCK, Mama. DUUCCKK!!” because you’ve gotten yourself stuck in a dresser drawer. Although it feels like it’s always something these days, I know these are the less complicated years and I try to remember that.
And for now, your Dad and I get a front row seat to your life. And what a life you have so far. What a kid you are. People like you, Everest, and I think it’s simply because you like them too. On top of that, you’re such a neat and interesting person already. We love this privilege of getting to sit right in front, having VIP seating, to your life. We love who you are, we believe in you, we like you a lot, and we are learning to trust God with you more and more. In fact, a year ago, I journaled a prayer out and it went like this:
“Jesus, please fill in the gaps of Everest’s life where we’ll fall short…”
and after writing out this prayer for you, I heard this:
“I won’t just fill in the gaps. I am his whole story.”
And I can take a deep breath in that. Jesus is trustworthy and consistent and he has you, Everest Judah.